Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Sadness

Visions of nasties 
Danced round in his head
I somehow knew
That I would find him dead

Always expected
Hoping he had not
Conversations of cuttings
And the burnings so hot

I was unable to understand
"The releasing of my pain" 
Yet I always knew 
That it would be his end. 

Glad that he's at peace now
Sorry that I am not
Trying only to remember
The good times
Not the rot

Every time I think i've moved on
Something pulls me back 
It's like being in a chamber
It's like  being on the rack 

Missing, berating, chiding
Going over every thing
I should have known
Paid more attention
Taken that rope thing

Trying not to think
Of the voices
You drank to drown them out 
That look of pain and misery 
What was it all about

Life's lesson's can be daunting
Playing heavy upon my heart
When something tears you both so fully
That you will ever be apart. 

But I know that you are well now
Because you come at night to show
That you have mended fully
And your spirit now can grow

I am glad to see you happy
And I truly try to share
I know that you are around me 
As I feel you on the air

I was so very glad to meet you
It was so fleeting yet so strong
And I forever love you
Because love holds on and on

For ny darling Neil, ten years today 11/02
1971 - 2003




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